And there we were with our brand new baby. That first night might have been the hardest of all. Louis was breathing very heavily and his little noises were preventing me from sleeping next to him. Because we were a bit worried after having to sign off responsibility to be able to take him home, neither Leonard nor I got much sleep that night. In the end Leonard slept on the sofa with Louis in his crib right next to him. My mum had proposed to come and help when the baby was born, but I had asked her to wait 2 weeks. I had been worried that she would come, swoop in and take over, and that Leonard and I would not be able to find our own way of doing things. Needless to say that after a week of severe sleep deprivation and cracked nipples I regretted that decision deeply! When she finally came, Leonard and I were incredibly relieved and grateful. She even took a few shifts during the night, which is really above and beyond what you could expect of a grandmother. But we were desperate.
A different interpretation of the increased use of interventions is that women have evolved to be worse at childbirth and that there are more complications now than there used to be. French obstetrician Michel Odent argues that since the use of artificial oxytocin during labour and childbirth, our natural oxytocin system (on which childbirth, placenta expulsion, attachment and breastfeeding relies heavily) has been very much underused in the last several decades. In accordance with recent advances in epigenetics and evolution theory, this underuse might result in the oxytocin system not working as well anymore in subsequent generations (see Box 21). But even if this were to be true, current statistics of 85% intervention-free births in some settings (which include high-risk births) still mean that C-section rates of up to 50% and induction rates of 20-30% are not at all justified. Moreover, if our current overuse of oxytocin-based interventions really has the power to mess with our ability as a species to give birth, breastfeed, love, and function socially and sexually, this would be a very strong argument to not use artificial oxytocin, unless absolutely necessary. By no means should this theory be used to justify more interventions.
Establishing breastfeeding is often more complicated after a difficult birth. Sadly many people who experience a traumatic birth may also experience a sense of failure and loss for not being able to breastfeed, especially if they really wanted to. The good news is that although you cannot have complete control over the way you give birth, breastfeeding is quite a different story.